7mm Confessions

…who happens to be living with his grandma (message to followers: ssshh..dont tell anybody).Ow.I was drunk again last night. I have this nasty habit of turning my back on my promise pinups on the wall right beside Megan Fox. Those voluptuous curves…maybe I should tear down Megan fox’s poster and leave the pinups? Sure. That’s easy. The trick is to turn your face away from Megan while you’re doing it.So on to the wall, I grabbed the edge of the poster facing sideways. As I was about to pull when strains from Air Supply started to play..lonely is the night when im not with you.. ‘til you’re not here by my side there’s no light shining through..altogether now… lonely is the nigghht… arrgh! Where in the neurotic, psychedelic mind did that strain came from? I could swear Megan winked at me. Hangover? No. I just can’t do it. She’s a devil. Quote from the film The Crying Game:”..i can’t help it , it’s in ma ney cha!”.

What this intro has to do with what I’m trying to lead you in to has nothing to do with it. The real story begins here. So set back, bear with me as I unweave this tangled tale of:…the aliens who fried my brain.

One night I was walking home from my boss’s house. Trudging along J.P Rizal street at 9pm is a real treat. You get to meet cows, chickens, crickets and if you’re lucky- get chased by dogs who from my boss’s mouth the ones that didn’t caught the “virus”. No human beings can be seen walking this street at this hour except when you got no gas for your ride and your cellphone got stolen by an uncouth fellow who sat beside you on a jeepney and your woman just dumped you for no reason except to tell you that she’s changed (amazing how they still wanna be friends with you after they ripped your guts out..but that’s another story). You walk. When I was near the church I was in these train of thoughts when a sudden gust of wind and tube of light blinded me. A few seconds took me to realize that the light was coming from a floating disk right above me. Frantically I started calling saints. “Grandpa is that you?” No.I wasn’t wimpering. “Please don’t kill me I swear I didn’t stole those knee caps at the cemetery”. At this point I pissed on my pants. Then suddenly I was helplessly being pulled straight up right into that thing. I passed out.

When I came to I was lying on a pool of drool on some metallic floor. I couldn’t move.I was hooked with some wires and tubes and realized I’ve been abducted by aliens. A voice came thru my head, “Why did you stopped drinking?”.Of course, they’re speaking through telepathy. “Drink, Drink, Drink” they pressed on. I wanted to laugh but could only manage a cough. Suddenly clips of ABS-CBN after dinner soap operas flashed on a big screen ( to telecasters: Im sorry, Im sorry). Oh, no. Not that. Please stop. A child talking to a man in white robes posing as God – May Bukas Pa flashed on the screen. Oh please. I could imagine my grandma teary eyed while watching it. Then it went on to the next soap Only You. My head was sizzling. When will these images stop? My nose was already bleeding. Please..no more. Then the clips went off. Thank God. Then it came on again. Finally the last soap flashed Tayong Dalawa with the immortal – “bok walang talo talo”..arrgh! okey, okey. I will do anything you want just please stop. Pleaaase.

The next morning my grandma found me in my room in state of shock . I was gibberish and frothing at the mouth with beer bottles and coagulated puke beside me. Can you blame me? Come on, they were going to torture me for hours. So you say, “real story?”. Ha ha ha ha.

I’m bored to the bones. I mean I’m not just bored as in bored that could be treated with a high dose of calorie food and a movie. Sometimes I think this is catatonia or something. Friends help. They could . They’re the most interesting and special people in the whole world. But let’s face it we are growing apart. The things like young adult angst, video game fever, porn watching days that got you together are over (not that I don’t watch porn anymore…sometimes). You are leading an adult life with bigger realities to contend with. It’s like I’m stock in this parallel universe. In other universe people are going about their lives as fast as the speed of light. While in my world I’m stock here in my grandma’s house with her watching soap operas.

Get me out of here.

Like falling from a skyscraper and reaching terminal velocity you keep falling and falling and falling until finally you crash into your bed. You wake up suddenly. Your eyelids fly open. Blinding sunlight assail your eyeballs and then bouncing off the white curtains reveling tiny specks of dust floating. You try to focus and you don’t remember a thing after you puked again the night before. Flashes of people and someone helping you walk forced themselves inside your head. All grainy. After that…nothing. You cant recall anything. A sinking feeling hits you like your caught unprepared on a final exam. You want to go back to sleep but you cant. It’s too late your brain is already wide awake to the few gazillions of deadlines that has been constantly bombarding you. A sudden tide of headache starts to swell from the back of your left eyeball way up the frontal lobe.And as much as you want to go fast,your eyes could only wade slowly as with the tiny specks of dust floating by and then finally resting at the bedside clock. What the bleep! It’s almost midday.Throwing away the sheets and wiping your drool on your cheek, you haul your carcass up assuming what is known to the humans as a vertical position.

You start to walk but you cant seem to make the first step. Your feet starts to move but each step is just too heavy. You walk the walk of the living dead .Like Frankenstein you need a jolt of electricity. And until you had your fix of caffeine you wont resemble anything human for the rest of the day. A year later you reach the kitchen and prepare your coffee. You hear orange and lemons playing “..and this angel has flown away from me…” So 2007. You don’t give a puke, you just need your brew. With the first sip comes clarity or so it seems.

After you have taken your bath, the first complication begins yet again– what will you wear? You look at your wardrobe in disarray and start picking combinations. It starts slow and gradually with great effort and sweat you desecrate your wardrobe and when your finally so pissed off ,you settle for a t-shirt and a jean you wore for the last 4 days.

You walk towards the front door. As you float by the mirror, you have a feeling that this isn’t you and you are not in your real body. Your are in someone else’s body…or something else’s. You re-traced your steps and you look at yourself in the mirror…you see yourself. You slam the door shut as you step outside just in time for the breeze. Mahogany leaves falling, birds chirping and flying by beneath clear blue skies and the quite J.P. Rizal Street. Beautiful trees you finally croaked. But watch out for the falling seeds. Falling at 9.81m/sec² they’l do better in putting away your headache for good than your fix.

Just when you are about to enter your office your assistant meets you halfway and say, “the mayor wants you upstairs an hour ago”. You force a smile and head for the stairs. You glance at your watch. It’s still 9am. This is the problem about being human – you gotta keep on living.

This is something new to me. I’ve always wanted to write but writing don’t come easy. A friend of mine introduced me to blogging a week ago. He said this is a sort of a self expression kinda thing and perhaps it could somehow get me hooked instead of… well… hooked to something else...less desirable. He was right. And it took me a couple of days to finally write down what I have to say. I mean thinking of the blog title was tough enough of which I thought at first was rather easy but it wasn’t. Man do I feel sheepish.

So … “ 7mm Confessions” it is. Don’t ask. I really don’t know how to explain this. Its really rather a “won’t explain it ” than a “don’t know how to explain it” kinda thing. It’s just too awkward for me to tell how I got the title - and this is supposed to be confessions. Really . I don’t know, it just came as an inspired thought. Anyway, bear with me on this.